Playin to the egoist in me

 I arrived home to find an envelope from Peter Waite's gallery, and ooh, excitement, Peter must be having a show! Well, no, more a case of reusing an envelope at hand, so yes, some disappointment, but this was well tempered by my pleasure at what I did find inside.

Peter was one of our Quad-o-peddlers for last month's D2R2, and Dave, whom I met that day, had given him photographs along with a request to direct a couple of them my way. I've joked, regarding fashion, my own is of the least concern to me as I spend a lot less time looking at it than everyone else, but I do appreciate images of me, possibly in part for the same reason: I so rarely get to see myself doing things.

Peter and I rolling and smiling like we to regularly used to. Hail snails!

But really, I'm a big egoist, and pictures of myself play to that inclination. Hopefully that doesn't preclude me from appreciating and valuing others, but I feel fortunate to have lived the life I lived, and I was thinking that just today while running errands before coming home to the pictures. I've been thinking that thought a bit lately, but instead of the smug satisfaction of a proper egoist, the thoughts have come with a twinge or more of sadness.

I've been extremely fortunate to live the life I've lived and be able to accomplish the things I've done, but last year, I came far to close to losing all that. Yeah, that makes me sad. Then while once again thinking that thought and feeling those emotions while rolling down the rail trail this morning, I realized, those things I used to do, they are already gone. It's a time thing. It passes, and what done is done, past. Not to negate those past experiences or to discount their importance to me, and possibly to others, but I thought: don't judge people's lives but what they've done, but rather what they are doing at that moment. Those are the lives they are actually experiencing.

So yes, I've been fortunate to do the life I've done, and it's sad for me to consider I almost lost out on continuing to do that, but what really, really matters is what I'm doing right now. That is my life, and the first hand experience of it. So yup, I like the pictures, definitely keeping them, but more importantly, let me picture what to do next!