Playing catch up

The last couple posts have mentioned my delayed espousing about events, but this catch up is of a different sort. When I was hit by the car in 2022 and then hit my head on the ground, that rattled my brain pretty badly. Badly enough that I have no memory of the two weeks that followed, and the medical report mentions that questions like, "What is your name?" innitially had me completely stumped. There is a possible good aspect to this. I have no memory of what might be some of the worst times of my life.

But when I was in late elementary or middle school, my mom and I were on a bit of a kick watching war movies. We were particularly fans of black and white World War II flicks and their complete lack of questioning how completely evil the enemy was, but it was an idea from a newer color film that really impacted and stuck with me. In some assault somewhere, a soldier was mortally wounded, and the medic was preparing to administer a morphine shot, but the soldier said no. He knew he was dying and feeling his last moments alive, so he wanted to experience as much as he could, unmuted.

No, I have zero desire for myself, nor anyone else, to experience dying on a battle field, but I like the experience of being alive, and even the not-so-good parts can be, well, interesting. While interesting isn't inherently good, I like interesting, and I've even been fascinated by some of the stories from the two weeks I don't remember, like the hospital staff nicknaming me Houdini after I used my teeth to extract myself from the restraint mitts and pull off my neck brace, again, and again, and....

Going back to my mistake of judgement and crash October of last year, it almost seems I've been trying to replay events, but in a way I'll remember. Yes, this time I made it a mile from home instead of a mere half, but when asked by my doctor about another head trauma, I was confident I never lost consciousness, especially since I can remember the moment in the arc over my stopped front wheel when I thought, "Oh, I'm actually going all the way over." Boom!

More updated experience this time around, after pulling my bike out of the road, instead of waiting an hour and a half until an eagle scout stopped, I walked the mile home, made a little more comfortable once I figured out putting my left arm in my shirt like a sling. I even called 911 myself once the nausea of stopping began and I realized asking a friend to bring me to the ER would be a bad choice.

Yay, this time I remember the ambulance ride and the EMT telling me I probably pinched a nerve, as evinced by my claim that left shoulder was primary impact despite nary a scuff on the shirt I was wearing. Once in the hospital, I was swarmed my doctors and nurses for five minutrs, but yay again, I was then left alone for fifteen to twenty. In triage, you want to be a lower priority, although not a non priority, in other words, dead. Being left alone in an ER is good thing!

Continuing with the missed experiences, I had surgery again, although in 2022, it just counted, and was billed, as such because incisions were made to more completely clean debris from my knees. This time, not confident of my body's ability to mend its own spine, the procedure was a bit more involved, but this time, versus 2022, I now have the experience of knowing I will be sedated, something I skipped for a colonoscopy. I'd say those are about as uncomfortable as a cyclocross race, but about fifteen minutes shorter.

And in 2022, I broke a rib. I've been a fan of saying I must have done it wrong because I always heard they are the most painful bones to break, but I was only very, very vaguely aware of it, at least once I started forming memories. Well, sticking to my mode of repeating experiences so I can remember them, I may have broken a lower left rib a week ago, the one exactly a humerus (not at all funny) length from my shoulder, where my elbow impacted.

I had been running again, happy to discover holding hands with myself let me approximate a not horrible arm swing, but last Sunday was a bit extra tricky with snow on the Holyoke Range. Snow does a very effective job of badly hiding ice, and when I slipped left, with a less functional left arm to break my fall, I think I broke my rib instead. I'm aware there's a way to know if I broke a bone, but the interwebs tell me the treatment for a break that isn't protruding internally is just rest, so why get zapped with x-rays for no net gain. Even when I called the nurse line for my primary care physician, there was no scolding for not visiting the ER, and I was just instructed of symptoms that would indicate more severe internal damage that required care.

The rib, yes, it does kind of hurt, worse than any other broken bone I remember, but it's had a week to heal and feel nearly half better. I sure hope I'm all caught up now!